Mother of Nations

Hey Loves 

As always I just want to start by giving a huge shout out to everyone who has been keeping up with the blogs, sharing them and all the encouraging and helpful feedback. 

I'm hoping I get this blog out on time if not, then I apologise for the delay. 

Unfortunately, the week ended with me having a very long trip to the hospital. 

As many of you know I am currently expecting baby number 8, Yep I said 8 for those who were not caught up. 

It's an extremely exciting time for us as a family and we can not wait to welcome our little princess at the end of July. 

The girls are officially on top of the leaderboard with five girls and three boys. 

We cheated to some degree as we have two sets of twins, our first set is 14 years old, they are a boy and a girl, then we have a 13-year-old boy, an 11-year-old girl, two-year-old twin girls who are identical, and a one-year-old son, baby girl in the oven makes our eight. 

I love having a big family, but it is not what I ever imagined for myself. I remember sitting in school with my friends planning how many children I would have. My plan was twins one boy, one girl, or two boys, two girls. 

I can imagine how hard God was laughing at me, He probably was thinking in his mind "if only you knew that by 32/33 years old I would double that number". 

Many people question how we cope, and most of the time I have to laugh as my answer always remains the same, " It is only by the grace and mercy of God. there is no other answer I can give but that one as it's the truth. 

I never really considered myself to be maternal so to have this many children truly has brought a new perspective to the way I see myself, and the way I identify with the word maternal. 

Here's my list of what maternal looked like in my mind;

• You always had it together.
• Your children would always look presentable whether or not you are going somewhere.
• You would have an exceptional amount of patients that just came naturally with every child born.
• The mother would always look presentable and would never see a bad day.
• Never get frustrated with their kids.
• Never get angry.
• Always has a smile.
• Is ever so grateful for every single moment of the day.
• Has a solid routine.
• Makes every playdate.
• Throws the best birthday parties.
• Has her babies counting numbers at 6 months old and doing their ABC at 7 months.

Okay maybe that's a bit dramatic, I got a bit carried away admittedly, loool. 

But truthfully I'm not sure if I'm the only one that sometimes felt the pressure of being a perfect mum (whatever that means). 

Having children truly put parenting into perspective for me on a different level, what it means to me to have maternal instincts, was simply just to love my children, and to help them be the best they can be, encouraging them daily to reach beyond the stars, Teaching them about our faith in Jesus Christ and providing for them all their needs, not necessarily their wants. 

It took a long time to identify and distinguish what was a want and what was a need... naturally as a parent you want to give your kids the world whether a need or want, telling them no is not always a good feeling, but that conversation is for a whole new blog. 

It's not to say your children should never have their wants but it had to become a priority for us to deal with the needs first and the wants come after. 

Apart of my maternal instinct was recognising when my children were hurting internally when they needed advice, prayer, an ear that they could sound off to, simply when they needed beyond the physical, this is a gift given to us, usually called intuition, I prefer to call it the voice of the holy spirit. 

It has always been so important to me that our children always had a safe environment, there were many times I failed in this area, but God heard my hearts cry and helped me in providing a safe space for our children to grow in, a place to call home, a place of their own. 

I'm sure being maternal looks different to every mother and to some degree it should because God will use each mother differently according to her home, kids, circumstances, and the calling on her family, the ones I listed above are my ideals of being maternal according to my call and family. 

On that note, I have also recognised that to be maternal does not mean that you have to have biological children. I have seen some extraordinary women in my time that do not have their children at the moment, yet demonstrate a level of love and care for other children, that is so beautiful and admirable. 

Every woman according to God has maternal instincts, if she does not yet have biological children, she has the power to be a mother to a child who may be deficient in a mother's love.

God has given each of us women a power that is so incredible, as this love affects and plays a large role in the state of the generations to come, the nations that will be born from her womb, or simply from the love and care, she demonstrates to a child yearning for it. 

I'm conscious that there are women out there who struggle in terms of demonstrating their maternal instinct, and this could be for several reasons, but I guarantee one of those reasons is not because she just doesn't have it. 

When it comes to raising our children, I have to be completely honest when I say, all the credit truly does go to God, without him I'd be a ball on the floor crying daily. 

He has taught me so much through, word, experience, demonstration, and other people, how to be an effective parent. 

I'm a huge advocate for routine, especially with 7 children, it's not only great for me and my husband, but it is also great for the kids as they know what to expect and they know what needs to be done and when. 

Do routines always stay the same and work the way we want them to? certainly not, we have those odd days where everything is thrown out of wack and we have no choice but to play it by ear, especially when the babies do not take their naps at the usual time. 

I'm learning not to panic in these moments, but to just go with the flow and allow the holy spirit to lead, I'm a big believer that 'everything happens for a reason.

It's taught me not to beat myself up and not to be so rigid, trust me it eases a lot of stress. 

Plus it was God that helped us establish our routine, because, in all truth and honesty, I had no clue of what I was doing. I gave myself more anxiety than necessary. 

Having a routine or even an outline of one helps us when trying to have time to ourselves either individually or our couple time. 

We do not get them as often as we like, but we do try to be purposeful and intentional in making these moments happen. I learnt that if I want time to myself to do what I need to do in order to relax or have time with my husband I have to be very intentional about it. I don't have time, I make time for the things I want and need to do, especially the things that will keep me sane. 

It is so important to set time aside to gather yourself, to do a heart and head check, make sure that you take care of your wellbeing, and catch up with your spouse is so important also, not to discuss the kids, house or chores, but to remind each other of how much you love and appreciate one another. 

My husband and I have learnt to have date nights in the house on the sofa after the kids have gone to bed to eat snacks, play a video game together or watch a movie, there are times we even have to include the kids in our moment indirectly when the older ones are at school, we put the babies in their pushchair around nap time and take a walk around the block, sit down at the park and just talk, this is something new God has shown us. The babies are busy taking in the scenery or sleeping which gives us some quiet time to enjoy each other's company. 

This blog is quite lengthy already but I will be sure to either do another blog or a Vlog on parenting and managing a large family, as I do get questioned on this topic often. 

We will also be discussing whether or not we plan for more children as this is another popular question lool.

I hope you are encouraged by this blog and have taken something helpful away. 

I will leave you with a few mottos that get me through rough times.

"God does not give you more than you can bear".

" If he brought you to it, he will bring you through it."

"Trust the process."

"God chose you for the job because he trusted you to accomplish it. listen for his instruction."

"There is no one like you."

Thank you again for your support, love and encouragement. 

Love to all. 

Psalms 127:3 -5

3. Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

4. Children born to a young man are like arrows in a warrior's hands.

5. How joyful is the man whose quiver is full of them! He will not be put to shame when he confronts his accusers at the city gates.