Growing Pains

Hey Loves

Let me start by saying a huge thank you for the support on my last blog; the feedback and reception were so humbling. 

I have to give God the props he is due; as I mentioned in my previous blog, I can not write unless God prompts me with a topic that he feels needs addressing in this season; as explained my content folder holds just over 20 topics that God placed on my heart. 

Now we know, that God would never have me talk about something that I have not experienced myself or could not personally relate to. 

Lo and behold this week I faced some home truths, came face to face with some demons I have been fighting with for years, as well as had an entire wake up call to self. Guys, it wasn't pretty. 

Have you ever experienced scenarios and emotional outbursts that you simply just can't explain? 

well, that has been me for a few years, maybe I'm being too subtle when I say few years, more like from my teenage years. 

Can you remember as a child, those aches and pains in your muscles and joints that just seemed to come out of nowhere, sometimes leaving you feeling crippled and in tears? 

When describing the pain to your parents, the most common answer would tend to be, " Oh it's just growing pains". Growing pains?? I remember I could not stand hearing this, as I struggled to understand why I needed to feel pain like this to grow. Truthfully I also felt like that answer was sometimes a cop-out so that my parents could still send me to school lol. 

I got to an age where I no longer noticed the pain, I guess because my body had decided that growing and developing was done for me. 

Weeellll, reality check set in for me this week. 

I have been experiencing a lot of battles with myself, there have been patterns and behaviours that seemed the norm to me for so long, that God wanted to highlight in me. 

There have been a lot of arguments and disagreements that I have faced, and I can accept that I carried fault in these scenarios, but what I struggled to come to terms with was why now all of a sudden do I seem to always be so angry in my responses to others. 

I came to a place recently where I have had to ask myself, are my responses even warranted despite how I am made to feel in the moment?

Amid the pain, my answer is a genuine Yes, but afterwards, there has been guilt, a conviction and disappointment, because deep down I knew where I went wrong. 

Guys, God spoke to me. Most who have experienced conversations with God, or heard from God, know that there are many different ways he can speak to us. During this period he chose to use people, which truthfully really wound me up, due to the fact the person he chose to use was the very person who I had most of my disagreements with this week... Drum roll please, MY HUSBAND, loooool. 

Now we know correction and having your issues highlighted is not a nice feeling at all, but even worse when it is being done by the same person you fell out with, sooo painful, lol. 

However who better to help you gain clarity than those closest to you, they tend to be able to see the things we cannot see for ourselves. 

I have to take this moment to give Dominic props, this man has truly demonstrated a commendable level of patients for me, which I know can only come with prayer and fasting, as I can even get on my nerves at times and can admit that I am a lot, lol. 

Many questions arose, but for me the most important ones were,  why do I feel like this? where does it come from? is this mine to carry? how do I close this door? who is my true enemy? how can I fight effectively? 

When we know that we are out of character these are the questions we need to step back and ask ourselves. 

Identifying the root of your issues is so important to receive your closure, understanding why these things or scenarios are happening or being highlighted helps in the process of forming a strategy for change, and knowing who is the catalyst of your issues, is important as the enemy is great at hiding himself behind people, and making them seem to be your problem When in truth it's not the person your fighting but the spirit behind them. The enemy can also use you by whispering lies to you at that moment, forcing you to see, hear or think things that are not indeed true. 

In recognising these moments, we will have a better battle strategy and that is to refocus your anger, frustration, aggression or whatever it may be that you're dealing with toward the one that deserves it. 

In all truth and honesty, being corrected, whether by God, your spouse, your friends or your pastor, will not feel good at the moment, It can be one of the most painful things to experience in life, as it makes us feel uncomfortable, sometimes ashamed or even frustrated, well speaking for myself I know these are some of the emotions I face when being pulled up. 

But that's exactly what this is, it's being pulled up. God wants us to come up higher, there are places he wants us to go, things he wants us to do, that require us to change, requires us to level up, demands us to mature and grow into the men and women he called us to be. 

I know where God is taking me insisted that I let go of certain habits of behaviour that could do more harm than good to me or others in the long run.

I realised that growing pains never end because it's something we are always going to have to face if we desire to walk in purpose, we cannot approach the things of God anyhow, and this is a painful lesson I'm learning. We cannot graduate from university with the same behaviour we had in college, each upgrade required a new level of maturity which forces us to be willing to let go of parts of ourselves that are no longer relevant to that season, or that were never meant to be apart of us in the first place. Unfortunately, we tend to pick things up on our journey through life and claim them for ourselves that were never meant to be ours.

When God is taking you to greater things, and you responded Yes and amen, You permitted him to start the pruning process. 

I have shed many tears this week because it was not easy to come to terms with my truth and I have been extremely humbled by the mercy and grace of God over my life. 

Though the process is painful, I know it's worth it as the more I unload the rubbish I have carried over the years, the more I begin to look like the woman he called me to be. 

During these seasons I have learnt to be careful of my surroundings, be mindful of what and who I am listening to, and keep myself close to my inner circle which will hold my hand through the pruning process and aid me with God's wisdom through the growing pains. 

Thank you for taking the time to share with me, I hope that there is something among my many words that you can take away today that will bring you revelation and help you in the process to answering the call of God. 

Social Media: @Shesimplyv

Love to all

John 15:2

Jesus said that " Every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit".

2 Peter 2:4 

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.