Forever friends or not

Friends forever or not!!!

Hi Loves

please forgive my absence, between life and the dodgy behavior of technology, I have been unable to upload.

Honestly, I really panicked about not uploading every week, but I decided to take the pressure off myself, and understand what I can control and what I cannot control, however blogging is something that I am committed to so, therefore, I have made it a priority to upload regardless of time or circumstances. 

It has been on my heart over the last few weeks to address relationships, more friendships than anything romantic.

My season has exposed a lot in regards to some of the relationships that I have with people, and it has brought forth much revelation, though some have been saddening, I am equally grateful, for these truths have allowed me to find peace with my losses, relieved a lot of unnecessary stress and overwhelmed me with unexpected friendships as well as providing with elements of independence, opening my eyes to realise that God is truly the only relationship I can have in this life that will never let me down, that will love me unconditionally, that will support and guide me despite my faults and who require nothing for it outside of loving him back. 
when you can get to a place when you realize this, the peace you find is unimaginable.

Family and friends though they may not mean to will fail you at times, it's very hard to have people in your life that meet the expectations you have in that particular relationship, don't get me wrong there are ways around this and it should not be an excuse for being a bad friend, because in communication we gain understanding, wisdom, knowledge, and life-altering lessons.

being honest with you, I felt let down by many people I considered near and dear to me, I felt hurt, angry, frustrated and just overall disappointed, especially because I expected the same form of care and effort that I put into them to be reciprocated, but that never happened. It was shocking if I tell you the truth, it was obvious that many people could talk a good talk, but when it came to putting the bold statements of " I'm here for you always, no matter what", " whatever you need I'm here", " I got your back" and "blood is thicker than water", into practice, many failed. 

The people I automatically thought would step up, stepped down, and the people I would never imagine to be my support system, my prayer partners, any many more, truly stepped up, it was humbling beyond words and I thank God for their lives. 
on my blogs I will never name names as it's not my intention to name and shame or expose people, I believe that these people know who they are, I never want to hurt or cause pain, but my blogs are about telling my truth and being as honest as possible, whilst encouraging, uplifting and empowering, not tearing down, hurting or causing destruction for anyone. 

Another epiphany I had based on my relationships is that time means absolutely nothing, whether you have known someone all your life or for one week, it is more than possible for the impacts to be completely opposite to what the natural eye would think. Also sharing DNA, or Blood with people does not mean that they are exempt from chances of letting you down. 'Blood is thicker than water' is a frivolous statement and only true in scientific form. 

What bothered me the most was not the effort that I put into others and not receiving it back from those I expected it from the most,  because I don't give to receive and I just do what I would like to be done to me or how I would like to be treated. 
But my disappointment came from the fact that people expect so much and have very high standards and expectations of how you should treat them and theirs and what kind of friend or family member you should be to them because if you don't then your the enemy but they cannot even bestow a small element of their expectations on to you.

It's very sad, to lose people but it just as much an enlightenment and offers a sense of relief, but the saying stands true, some people are for a season and some are for a reason and you have a small few are your lifetimes. 

This season has formed my inner circle and I can honestly say its very small but powerful. I have taken a step back from toxic relationships and relationships that don't bring out the best in me, as friendships are to be encouraging, uplifting, empowering, supportive, honest, and supposed to attain communication, commitment and compromise from both parties not onesided. anything or anyone that cannot share these qualities with me is not good for me, especially when in a state of vulnerability. 

Yes losing or stepping back from some relationships come with hurtful and heartbreaking consequences but I trust God to restore the things, relationships and connection caught in the crossfire, if it is his will. 

I hope it does not a take something tragic or something too deep or hurtful for you to realise who your inner circle is, ask God today to reveal and expose those are for you and those who are not and to give you the strength to walk away or take a step back from toxic relationships and  to help embrace and love on the new-found friendships, also take the time to reflect on yourself and who you are to others, are you a friend like the ones you need?

I hold no grudge and forgive those who let me down, hurt me and disappointed me and mine, I will continue to love them just from a distance and I will continue to pray for them, and if it is in God's will to restore then I will honour that, however for know I have found freedom and the greatest peace of all that makes this season a lot lighter and easier than it could have been, dealing with the emotions of unstable relationships. being able to step back from things that are not good for you, shows growth and maturity, be unashamed and don't let loneliness scare you, you'll be suprised what happens in your period of silence. 

Proverbs 18:24 

The one who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. 

Allowing God to choose your relationships and guide you towards the correct people, will offer you a peace and much joy. But establishing a friend in the Lord first provide a heart full grace, salvation, compassion that is perfect and immeasurable. 

don't just look at how others treat you but reflect on how you are treating people who hold you near and dear to them, are you being all you can be for them ? are you offering all you can offer them? 
are you exuding the love of Jesus Christ? are they? 
are your friends unevenly yoked and leading you astray and compromising your relationship with God? do they encourage the best from you or bring out the worst in you?

Stay blessed