Who told me these negative things? who fed me such lies? who made me feel unworthy of achieving my goals and dreams? who decided that my life was over because I became a mother? who told me I didn't matter and that my feelings and hearts desires were insignificant? honestly, I could blame the devil and say 'Satan told me these things', I could put the onus on society and say that they made me feel like I had no rights, no support and that the government makes it difficult for young people let alone young mums to better themselves.
However true any of these statements may be, inevitably the guilt was on me, I was responsible for allowing these statements and sometimes facts be my truth.
It's just easier that way, therefore I won't have to be accountable.
I'm far from saying that those statements and many unmentioned are not the cases for many people, but I am saying that we allow these things, elements, entities to have full access and full control in our lives, we give them to much power and let them have way too much of say, and they are the only ones to benefit and profit from our losses.
That's sad and a damn shame that many women and men miss out on huge opportunities and life-changing achievements because they were crippled by fear and societies so-called rules and boxes.
If we all followed the rules or the way we felt was best in order to be comfortable and to be sure not step on anyone's toes we would miss out on a lot of greats that changed lives and made history, I could list a blog full of people who stepped out of the comfort zone and made history, How? simple dropping the I CANTS, WONTS, SHOULD'NT, BUTS etc, and doing what mattered to them.
I can promise you something, the time will never be right, there will always be a situation, a circumstance, a factor, element or even a person that will be your wall of doubt, discouragement, inconvenience, but it's your choice to let that be your story.
I was tired of being tired whilst doing nothing that profited me (aside from raising an amazing family), so I pulled up my big girl draws and I had to borrow some confidence from the heavens above until I found my own and I finally made an application to 2 universities for a course in Psychology.
Based on my academic history technically these uni's should have seen my application and laughed. I had not so great GCSE's and I never completed college. however, I was applying with Faith, Grace, and King Jesus as my reference.
The first uni turned me down, however, the second uni called me for an interview, where I had to write an on the spot, unprepared, random essay on something I knew nothing about. 1 hour later after reading my essay and hearing my story, I was greeted with a smile and overwhelming gratitude for the piece I had just written, the head of the department, actually thanked me for such an interesting and well-written piece and offered me an unconditional place on the course.
when I say leap out in faith even and especially when you have nothing else, and God will do the rest, I'm not saying it lightly, I have lived this.
the uni that took a chance on me or should I say a guarantee * wink wink* worked out more in my favour than the uni that turned me down, the course offered me more, the hours worked around my children school and all the half terms, so my kids did not miss out on me for a second, and it was closer to home and the kids.
I am proud to say I am a graduate and have a degree in Criminology, psychology and social justice.
I never thought I was worthy, or academically smart, I considered myself an underachiever, but one day I got out of my own way and showed myself never mind the haters and the enemy and whoever else wished for my downfall that I could do it, I can do whatever I put my mind to and whatever I want, and I'm here to show whoever needs to know that it does not matter the obstacle, if you want it, take it and fight like your life depends on it, I went through 2 evictions, the last one leading to homelessness during this period, but assignment deadlines didnt care about what I was going through, it took dedication and determination.
I still have a long way to go, but I'm looking forward to it and I'm enjoying every moment that I show the enemy and my enemies that I'm making moves and their plans have failed, it's quite entertaining imagining the looks on their faces.
I hope you were encouraged by this post to reach for the stars and become an achiever, who knows Gods plan for you may be much more than the ideas you have for yourself, you've just got to leap out and use faith as your reference, keep love and kindness in your heart, be humble and stay graceful, remember who you are representing in all things.
1 corinthian 13: 2
If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of Gods secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that moved mountains, but didn't love others, I would have gained nothing.
(Despite all things in life we must love, even our enemies, we are set apart so therefore can not behave the same way they treat us, be an example, through kindness favor will find you).
P.S- It's not bad to have cheerleaders but be careful not to depend on them because if they stop cheering, will you then stop achieving. I thank God for my family, minimal friends and loved ones, especially King and my babies who encouraged me all the way, even when I wanted to give up, my babies told me daily 'mummy we are proud of you'. How awesome?
Thank you for this post and the encouragement! You're truly an amazing woman who deserves everything great coming your way! With love x
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