Heyy, Its been awhile I know, At first I felt really bad that I haven't been keeping up to date with my blogs but...... My mama alway said if you don't have nothing sensible to say, don't say anything at all, loool. I genuinely didn't have anything to share so instead of writing nonsense, I thought I'd better wait.
By the way........ HAPPY NEW YEAR, I hope and pray this year brings you all the desires of your heart and if you haven't already, that you are making those steps to get closer to your dream.
Here we Goooo.....
From a young age of 6/7 years old I've been through some serious stuff, seen things I had no right seeing, exposed to some real ugly truths, defiled, abused, hurt and confused all the way to the age of 15. Fell for a guy at 13 and haven't let him go since, got pregnant at 17years old, was a mother of 2 one week after my 18th birthday, fell pregnant again at 19, was a mother of 3 at 20, fell pregnant AGAIN at 20 was a mother of 4 at 21 years old. PHEWWW DATS ALOT RIGHT? We'll I haven't even scratched the surface. 21 I got engaged, by 23 I was a married woman. I'm now 24 years old and outside of my beautiful family, I don't have anything to show for my years, I don't have a job, nor do I have A levels or a fancy degree / diploma, I don't own a business etc.
Was this the plan I had for my life? Hhhaaaa No way. But ask me, Would I change anything about my life.? What I went through, the pain, the struggles etc. My answer would be.. No way.
My life may not have gone the way I planned or the way I had hoped but, someone greater than me, had a much better plan for me. Who could know what's better for me than my creator.
Who knows, if life had gone my way I could be dead, with absolutely nothing no family, maybe a building and a heap of metal but what would I have left behind that would have made a true difference to this world?? At least if my time to go is now I know I have 4 amazing people who could make a powerful impact.
My life went in a direction that I do not regret. Yes I had my family young, and yes I had to wait longer than most to chase my dreams, but this makes me more determined. I have more of fight, more of a desire to chase my hearts desire. I have a point to prove not just to myself but for my children, for those people out there who are using my life as an example, for my haters who are laughing at my circumstances, those who think I'm going nowhere.
I have a purpose on this earth and I will fight to fulfil it.
I have plenty of excuse as to why I should sit on my butt all day and Wallow in pity, why I should feel sorry for myself. I mean look at my past! Did you not just read about what I've been through none stop since the age of 7?,
For me those excuse are not a good enough reason for me to not reach for a brighter future. I have a dark past but there is no reason why my present or future should pattern my yesterday experiences. Yes it hurt, yes it's hard to try a push through the murky memories and the vicious nightmares but I HAVE to for the sake of my children, my marriage, my husband and most importantly myself turn my negatives into a positive. Please know it's not easy but honey It sure is worth it.
It's time to get up and drop the excuses. Your past is your past, of course your going to wish you could change things about you past but you ain't never gonna get that back, so take that energy, that anger, the hurt the pain and use it to fulfil the desire to make your future brighter.
I am your living witness, look I have shared something's I wouldn't dream of sharing, things that I've only jus about been able to share with the people closest to me. Because my life is a testimony. Life didn't go my way, it worked out better than I planned. Now my youngest has gone to nursery, I'm focusing these few free hours to myself to build ME from the ground up. It's all about working around your circumstances.
Stay blessed, stay focused, and leave excuses in 2013. 2014 is about doing you, make them dreams come true.
Love Ya'll
I have to quickly thank the people who helped my through the ruff patches, My husband, my king, my best-friend i thank God for you daily, to say your my support system is an understatement, you've been my back bone, you took on the dramas that I came with and you mastered me through, I love you.
My children, you are my reasons for the fight that I fight everyday. You have given me a brighter future and an eventful present, each one of you are special to me in your own ways. I live to make you proud, and give you and show you that the best is more than possible with Christ Jesus as your Shepard.
My mummy and daddy, especially mum, you have made it possible for me to tell you any and everything, you never judge me and you give the best advice lool, your truly my bestie. Thank you for the sacrifices you make and have made for me.
Daddy, you are an amazing man, you took me on and I have never and can never doubt your love for me, the support you give is truly appreciated. You truly are the apple of my eye. I may not be your flesh and blood but you are the only dad I know and could ever want. Your my father and my annoying buddy, but I wouldn't have you any other way. Love pup pup.
My Nan ( rest in peace), thank you for setting the bar. And being The definition of a virtuous woman.
My girls, my pillars of advice, support, my shoulders to cry my eyes out on loool , you all have different reason as to why I couldn't live with out you. But one thing you all have in common is the fact that you all are my sisters. Anything I need, anytime you are there, no questions asked. In a different way, you have helped and supported me through the narrow way. Love you ladies.
A massive thank you to all my family and friends who are and have always be there to encourage me. ( too many to list but please know you are appreciated). Love ya x
FINALLY....
King Jesus, my Shepard, my way maker. I adore and exalt you. Thank you for choosing and using me. Thank you for carrying me out of the hand of the enemy. Thank you for the people you have blessed me with, family friends and even my enemies, because in different ways they where all used by you to make me a better woman today. Glory to your name. Xx
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